Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
