Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize