i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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