You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
