I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize