I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
