thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
