i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
