You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
