I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
