If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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