I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
