I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
im six kinds of drunk right now
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize