no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
