I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
