So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
