i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
