Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize