All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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