U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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