This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
