What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
