You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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