God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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