This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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