I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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