this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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