Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
