i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
