i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
