Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
