home. puking in laundry basket.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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