Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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