my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
3pm strippers are depressing
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
