do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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