You're completely useless in the revolution.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
