I cockslap morals
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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