it wasn't lemon gatorade
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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