so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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