Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize