I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
