I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
