also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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