just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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