You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
