I'm so fucking centered right now
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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