One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
high people should be assigned attendants
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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