Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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