I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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