she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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