you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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