Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My penis needs a shock collar
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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