Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
