Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize