we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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