My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
