she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
