i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize