i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
