bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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